Milly’s Birth Story

FIRST TIME MUM – HOME BIRTH – SOMERSET MATERNITY – HYPNOBIRTHING

Written by Milly

My first contraction started around 10pm on the Tuesday, the day before the date my husband had jokingly been saying I would give birth for weeks. While I don’t believe he has any fortune telling abilities, I do believe that this influenced me on some level to feel that it was the right time or safe to go into labour. This tied in with what we had learnt about how significant the subconscious mind can be on Mollie’s course, and I believe feeling safe and prepared enabled me to have and reflect positively on my unmedicated home birth of a rather large baby. 


That first night I was able to sleep through a lot of the contractions, between waking up to go for a wee, but by 5.30am they were becoming more regular (around three in ten minutes). I had a shower to see if it made things more comfortable, and we took our dogs for a walk as a distraction. I’ll always remember the beautiful sunrise and pink sky!


By 7.30am the contractions were more intense, and I started using the TENS machine. We informed the homebirth team I was in labour, but managing for now and agreed just to keep in touch if anything changed. I remember saying to my husband this is ideal, we will be done by lunchtime!


Things progressed steadily, the contractions remained around three in ten minutes, building up to 45 seconds each and a bit more uncomfortable. I hadn’t noticed any movement from the baby since going into labour, which made me feel a bit anxious, combined with being my first labour, and so we arranged for the on call midwife to come and check in. 


At 1.30pm the midwife came and the fetal heart rate was normal, which put my mind at ease. We discussed the benefits of a cervical check, which I agreed to as I was curious – I’d been having regular, intense contractions since 7.30am so felt something should be happening soon! On examination I was 3cm dilated, and given I was already in labour I agreed to a ‘Sweep’ to try and get things moving. I didn’t feel under any pressure to have this, and the midwife was extremely kind and explained everything. We agreed I would continue using the Tens Machine as long as possible, and delay getting in the pool until I felt I couldn’t manage, and would call them back at this point. 


By 5.30pm I decided to get in the pool, a logistical challenge that kept my husband occupied of using all our hot water, a tea urn and kettles. The pool was amazing pain relief, although the contractions were intense it was so much more comfortable. I tried to focus on my breathing, with an occasional gentle reminder to relax my shoulders. I stayed in the water for a few hours, but didn’t seem to be progressing, so tried standing up and moving around a bit but eventually decided to get back out. The midwives swapped over for their shift change, and we discussed another cervical check. I had felt like birth was going to happen at any minute, so had been a bit hesitant to be checked earlier, however given we were now getting later into the evening agreed. At this check I was just 4cm dilated, and despite them all telling me not to be disheartened and that progression wasn’t linear, it was hard to not think that I had only gained 1cm in hours of contractions! 


We discussed my options, and agreed that I should try and rest and call them back if there were any changes. I tried my best to lie down, listening to birth relaxation tracks etc, however really struggled to find a vaguely comfortable position during contractions. By 1am all I wanted was to get back in the pool, so my husband was back on kettle duty topping up the water and trying to read my mind as to how he could help during each contraction as I kept changing what I wanted. 


Until this point I was unsure if my waters had broken or not, having been in the water, however at 5am I felt it very clearly, and we called triage to ask the on call midwives to return. This whole time had felt like the contractions were strong and she was coming any minute, yet we had a few more hours to go!


I continued to labour in the pool, with regular monitoring from the midwives. We reached a point again where I had been in there for hours, but wasn’t appearing to be doing anything differently, so agreed to get back out and try something else. At this point I was really tired, and was so grateful for the support of all of the midwives we had seen, encouraging me that there wasn’t any cause for concern.


I went up to our bedroom, and after some time felt like the contractions were more productive. After trying various positions, being on all fours with cushions under my knees felt the best. As I went into active labour I had hoped I would be able to ‘breathe the baby out’ or that if I was patient enough she would be born by the ejection reflex, but for me it was a couple of hours of very intense pushing! I did my best to relax my jaw between pushes, and breathe deeply and slowly. It was much more physical, and I was really frustrated that I was trying so hard, every push felt like the head should just be coming, but it took a long time to get to that point. 


We got there eventually, and the midwives were brilliant at guiding me through this critical stage and delivering the baby. I was so tired and worried I wouldn’t be able to hold her safely, but knowing how important it was they helped me get comfortable holding her. 


I waited an hour before receiving the injection to facilitate passing the placenta, which again was a discussion with the midwives with no pressure if I had wanted to wait longer. 


After a total of 36 hours, 27 of which had regular intense contractions, our little girl Lottie Eloise was born, weighing 9lbs 12oz! I laboured through my husbands ‘predicted’ birth date, with Lottie arriving the following day. I am so grateful to the homebirth midwives who made me feel safe throughout, and enabled me to have the physiological birth I had hoped for. Although it took a long time I didn’t require any stitches, and recovered well in the days after, all of which I believe were in part a result of not being rushed, and feeling well supported. 

The teaching from Mollie’s group hypnobirthing course was invaluable in preparing both of us for labour. The practical side of knowing what to expect, different methods of managing contractions and various pain relief options etc took any unknowns away, but the most significant thing for me was how I felt about birth. 


I know some people get put off hypnobirthing or are dismissive of anything too ‘feelings’ related (I have been that person too!) but I think this could have been the biggest factor in me both persevering through a long labour but also looking back at it positively. Mollie emphasised how important it was to frame birth in a positive way, or at least not like an episode of Casualty, not as something to be scared of but the way you meet your baby. This, combined with a team of confident and experienced home birth midwives, friends with positive experiences and my husband’s confidence in me all led to me not doubting my ability to give birth at home, so I did. Of course there are cases where intervention is necessary and lifesaving, but I truly think believing I could do it was a big factor in being able to do it.